60. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, October 30th, 5:00pm
Drommen (and Edward)

 

Drommen sits by the window. He gestures to Edward to sit beside him.

Edward: What do you want?

Drommen: Hey, Sparkles. I have something that you don’t have.

Edward: You’ve got nothing I want!

Drommen: I bet I do.

Edward: You can’t possibly. I have everything I need. Tomorrow night is my night! I will roam the neighbourhoods with my own kind, take from virgins…

Drommen: You’re going to steal candy from little kids?

Edward hisses through plastic fangs.

Drommen: Okay, I get it. But I’ve still got something you don’t have.

Edward: (snorts) I don’t think so.

Drommen reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lunch bag with a pair of panties in it.

Edward: Whose are they?

Drommen: Bella’s. She gave them to me.

Edward: (eyes wide with shock) She did not!!

Drommen: She did. Here, (he opens the bag a crack) smell them.

Edward sticks in his nose, takes a big whiff, and sneezes, causing his teeth to shoot down the aisle.

Edward: PEPPER!

Drommen: (laughing) Who’s the darkness now?

Edward: CURSE YOU!! (stands) I’LL GET YOU FOR THIS, SWINE!!

Edward retrieves his teeth and gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Friday, October 31st, 10:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story. (Edward) (Drommen)

59. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, October 29th, 8:00pm
Madigan and Ken

 

Madigan: (looking down at a picture on her lap) I don’t believe it.

Ken: There’s your proof.

Madigan: Your wife has been having an affair with your brother all this time?

Ken: She’s your sister.

Madigan: (snorts) I feel like I’m living in a soap opera. Where are they now?

Ken: On a beach in Barbados, according to the private detective. (points at the photo) I recognize the resort. We went there for our honeymoon.

Madigan: (shakes head and looks up at him) So what are you going to do about it?

Ken: Ask her for a divorce. And marry you, if you’ll have me.

Madigan: What about the lipstick on your collar?

Ken: That was just Barb trying to make you jealous. She already knew about us.

Madigan: (sighs) I should have guessed. (looks at him sharply) Wait, was that a proposal?

Ken: I don’t have a ring or anything, but… yeah.

Madigan: (blinks away tears) I want to say yes.

Ken: (takes her hand) Then do.

Madigan: (looks out the window) I’ll think about it.

 

Next stop: Thursday, October 30th, 5:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story.  (Madigan and Ken)

58. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Tuesday, October 28th, 7:00pm
Sammy and Leroy (and Zoey)

 

Sammy sits at the window. Leroy is in the aisle seat.

Sammy: I bet you can’t go five minutes without saying something.

Leroy: Of course I can.

Sammy: Okay, try it.

Leroy: When do you want me to start?

Sammy: Now.

Leroy: I can do this you know.

Sammy: That was a whole 30 seconds.

Leroy: I wasn’t ready.

Sammy: You’ll never be ready.

Zoey: (approaches) (To Sammy) Do you mind if I sit here?

Sammy: My friend is sitting here.

Zoey: (frowns) That’s a ventriloquist’s dummy.

Leroy: Hey! Who are you calling a dummy?

Zoey: (to Leroy) You! (shakes head) (To Sammy) Would you mind moving your doll so I can sit?

Sammy: Leroy’s not a doll. He can’t even shut up for five minutes!

Zoey: You mean you can’t shut up for five minutes.

Leroy: Of all the nerve! You can’t talk to her like that!

Zoey: I’m not talking to you, I’m… (mumbles) Oh never mind. (moves to the back of the bus)

Leroy: (to Sammy) Do you believe that? People these days!

 

Next stop: Wednesday, October 29th 8:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story. (Zoey)

57. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Monday, October 27th, 4:00pm
Drommen (and Holly)

 

Drommen sits at the window. Holly takes a seat beside him.

Drommen: Hi.

Holly: Hi.

Drommen: Do you mind if I… Are you crying?

Holly: (wipes cheek) No.

Drommen: What’s wrong?

Holly: Oh God, my life’s such a mess. First I get pregnant with this guy who disappears and now my husband’s disappeared and I’m going to get thrown out of my place.

Drommen: That’s terrible.

Holly: And on top of all that I’ve got this other guy hanging around my house with these fake… (points at mouth) teeth… things… and I’m pretty sure he was the one who made my husband disappear.

Drommen: Did you call the cops?

Holly: No, because I asked him to get rid of the other guy… my boyfriend… Wait, are you a cop?

Drommen: (snickers) No.

Holly: (sighs in relief) Thank God.

Drommen: So let me get this straight. You asked the guy with the plastic fangs to get rid of your boyfriend but he screwed up and now your husband is missing instead?

Holly: Right.

Drommen stares out the window.

Holly: I don’t know why I told you all this. I guess it’s easier to talk to a stranger.

Drommen: No, it’s fine. I understand. I look to strangers for help all the time. Listen, I think I might be able to help you. (reaches into his pocket) Take this.

Holly: (looks down at a wad of twenty dollar bills in her hand) I can’t…

Drommen: Yes you can. And next time I see that little prick with the teeth…

Holly: What are you going to do?

Drommen: It’s probably best I don’t say. (reaches into his pocket again) Wait, can I see that wad again?

Holly holds the stack of money out to him.

Drommen: (replaces the topmost $20 with another) Wrong one.

Holly: What was that all about?

Drommen: (holds up bill gingerly) This one’s a little gooey.

 

Next stop: Tuesday, October 28th, 7:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story. (Drommen) (Holly and Edward)

56. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Sunday, October 26th, 7:00pm
Robert and Donald

 

Robert: So the guy jumped you when you got off the bus. And it was completely unprovoked?

Donald: Totally. But he didn’t jump me as soon as I got off. He followed me for a while.

Robert: And when he jumped you he tried to…

Donald: …bite my neck. Yeah. (grabs the collar of his jacket and tries to look at it) I think I’ve still got sparkles on my collar.

Robert: (takes a close look) Hm… Wouldn’t want your wife to see that. She might think you’re having an affair with a vampire. (smiles widely)

Donald: (frowns) Yeah.

Robert: Did he leave any scars?

Donald: Only a few emotional ones. He kept telling me he’s been watching me sleep and calling me Bella.

Robert: Creepy. So’d you want to go have a drink before we go back to my place? I can help you with those emotional scars.

Donald: I could use a drink.

Robert: And then…

Donald: Just don’t call me Bella.

 

Next stop: Monday, October 27th,  4:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story.  (Robert) (Donald)

Angel

“Your ghost haunts me, like a shadow in the night.

“For the things I couldn’t do for You, for the warnings I tried to give You,

“and the signs You missed…

“I wanted to scream out!

“I wanted to touch You,

“But You couldn’t feel me there by Your side, aching,

“aching to convey the message.

“I could hear You calling. I could hear Your breath, ragged and painful.

“I wanted to comfort You but,

“try as I might, You couldn’t feel me.”

 

“Now I sit in the dark, trying to make sense of it all.

“I miss You. I miss Your presence.

“I am Your Angel.

“Always by Your side.

“Your ghost, it haunts me,

“You should be alive.”

55. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right (special SoCS edition)

Saturday, October 25th, 8:00pm
Moe and Curly

 

Moe: And that’s when you fell off the ladder?

Curly: Right.

Moe: I told you you need to leeean the ladder at a better angle.

Curly: (shakes head) I know.

Moe: You need more of an inclination.

Curly: I know.

Moe: That’s what you get for having less than a degree.

Curly slaps Moe upside the head.

 

Next stop: Sunday, October 26th, 7:00pm

This post is part of SoCS: http://lindaghill.com/2014/10/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-october-2514/ Please join us!

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badge by: Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

54. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, October 24th, 8:00pm
Mr. Splindle and Horace

 

Mr. Splindle: It’s not really cheating.

Horace: Of-of c-c-course not, M-Mr. Sssssplindle

Mr. Splindle: We’re just going to have a nice quiet roast beef dinner and a few beers.

Horace: R-r-r-right.

Mr. Splindle: But you know we don’t need to tell anyone about this at work.

Horace: Oh n-no! M-Mr. Splindle! And we w-won’t t-t-tell your w-w-w-wife either!

Mr. Splindle: Very good, Horace.

Horace: M-Mr. Sssp-p-plindle?

Mr. Splindle: Yes Horace?

Horace: W-why did you w-w-want me to c-come with you?

Mr. Splindle: Why Horace, I asked you to come with me because you need to get out. To live a little! Have you ever been to a strip joint before?

Horace: N-no.

Mr. Splindle: Exactly. And you’ll have to get used to it, because as my assistant in this new enterprise, you’ll accompany me, with our clients, to peeler bars all across the county.

Horace: And w-we don’t t-t-t-t-tell anyo-one at work about this other e-enterp-prise either, r-r-r-right?

Mr. Splindle: That’s right, Horace. The only one we talk about that with is Hank.

Horace: M-Mr. Ssssplindle?

Mr. Splindle: (sighs) Yes Horace?

Horace: About my w-w-wife. P-please don’t t-t-t-t-t-tell her, s-sir. Sh-she’d be awfully m-mad if sh-she f-f-f-f-f…

Mr. Splindle: …found out that you went to see strippers?

Horace: (nods) Mmhmm…

Mr. Splindle: (pats Horace’s knee) I understand completely. Most women are delicate flowers, Horace. We must protect them as best we can.

Horace: R-r-r…

Mr. Splindle: But you know there are some women who are more like weeds. They live between the cracks of society and deserve none of our esteem. They are the sort we are going to see tonight, Horace. Weeds. Objects just looking for men like us to pollinate them. (rubs hands together) Tonight I’d like to go pollinate a few of those weeds.

Horace: M-M-M-Mr. Ssssssp-p-plinnndle?

Mr. Splindle: YES Horace?

Horace: Go f-f-fuck yourself sir.

Horace gets off the bus.

 

Next stop: Saturday, October 25th, 8:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story. Hank

53. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Thursday, October 23rd, 5:00pm
Donald (and Andrea)

 

Donald sits in the aisle seat. Andrea approaches.

Andrea: Do you mind?

Donald: Oh! No. (shifts over to window seat)

Andrea: (sitting down) Bus is pretty crowded.

Donald: Yes.

Andrea: You just noticed?

Donald: I beg your pardon?

Andrea: Just when the bus is crowded it makes sense to leave any open seats available, doesn’t it?

Donald: I supp…

Andrea: I mean, it’s just common sense. It’s rude to keep two seats all to yourself when there’s so many people on the bus.

Donald: I was waiting for someone.

Andrea: (turns her head to the left and right) Who?

Donald: A… another man.

Andrea: A particular “other man”? Or just “another man”? Are you, like, disappointed that a woman sat beside you?

Donald: (looks her up and down) Yes. And in particular, you.

Andrea is speechless, mouth hanging open.

Donald: You’re rude and distasteful. I’d even go as far as to say that it’s women like you who make men like me—straight men that is—wonder what it is we see in women at all.

Andrea: Well, I never!

Donald: (raises voice) Then it’s about damned time.

Donald steps over her and stands in the aisle.

Donald: (yelling) And for the record, I was waiting for a particular man, not just another man. One who’s much more tasty (shakes head) tasteful than you!

Donald gets off the bus to a round of applause.

 

Next stop: Friday, October 24th, 8:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story.  (Andrea) (Donald)

 

52. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, October 22nd, 8:00am
Pierre and Martin

 

Pierre: So I said to him, “How in the freaking hell can you say there’s enough light in here?

Martin: No! You didn’t really, did you?

Pierre: I did! And you should have seen the look on his face!

Martin: What did it look like?

Pierre: I have no idea! It was too dark!

 

Next stop: Thursday, October 23rd, 5:00pm