Monday, September 22nd, 8:00am
Gerald and Dick
Dick: You’ll never guess what my wife did last night for dinner.
Gerald: (raises eyebrows) Do I want to know? I mean, really, are you sure I want to know?
Dick: (elbows Gerald in the ribs) Come on, of course you do. Anyways, I get home from work last night and she’s got all these candles going in the dining room, right?
Gerald: Lucky you don’t have kids.
Dick: Yeah whatever. Anyways, I walk in the door and there’s all these candles on the table and the sideboard and everything, and there she is dressed up in this … thing …
Gerald: What, like a gorilla suit?
Dick: No! She’s not wearing a gorilla suit! She’s got this black lacy thing on with her boobs hanging out, out to here (gestures with his hands in front of him) and this tiny little thong stuck up the crack of her ass that’s she’s wiggling at me…
Gerald puts his hand to his face and slouches in his seat
Dick: …and on the table – get this – on the table is this assortment of whips and handcuffs and I’m like, holy shit babe, this book you’ve been reading, it’s right up my alley.
Gerald: Don’t tell me…
Dick: That’s right man. That Forty Shades dealio. I got my hogtie on with the handcuffs and the ball in the mouth and shit and she went to town on my ass, all night long man. It’s incredible! Man you should get that book for your wife.
Gerald: Sounds like balls of fun.
Dick: Speaking of balls mine are fucking aching this morning. You know, after all that she didn’t even want to have sex. She just flat shut me out. It’s like she just wanted to beat the hell outta me.
Gerald: Hey maybe I should read that book… The lingerie’s not a requirement, right?
Dick: …I guess not. But what would you want to read it for?
Gerald: I don’t know Dick. I don’t know.
Next stop: Tuesday, September 23rd, 1:00pm