54. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Friday, October 24th, 8:00pm
Mr. Splindle and Horace


Mr. Splindle: It’s not really cheating.

Horace: Of-of c-c-course not, M-Mr. Sssssplindle

Mr. Splindle: We’re just going to have a nice quiet roast beef dinner and a few beers.

Horace: R-r-r-right.

Mr. Splindle: But you know we don’t need to tell anyone about this at work.

Horace: Oh n-no! M-Mr. Splindle! And we w-won’t t-t-tell your w-w-w-wife either!

Mr. Splindle: Very good, Horace.

Horace: M-Mr. Sssp-p-plindle?

Mr. Splindle: Yes Horace?

Horace: W-why did you w-w-want me to c-come with you?

Mr. Splindle: Why Horace, I asked you to come with me because you need to get out. To live a little! Have you ever been to a strip joint before?

Horace: N-no.

Mr. Splindle: Exactly. And you’ll have to get used to it, because as my assistant in this new enterprise, you’ll accompany me, with our clients, to peeler bars all across the county.

Horace: And w-we don’t t-t-t-t-tell anyo-one at work about this other e-enterp-prise either, r-r-r-right?

Mr. Splindle: That’s right, Horace. The only one we talk about that with is Hank.

Horace: M-Mr. Ssssplindle?

Mr. Splindle: (sighs) Yes Horace?

Horace: About my w-w-wife. P-please don’t t-t-t-t-t-tell her, s-sir. Sh-she’d be awfully m-mad if sh-she f-f-f-f-f…

Mr. Splindle: …found out that you went to see strippers?

Horace: (nods) Mmhmm…

Mr. Splindle: (pats Horace’s knee) I understand completely. Most women are delicate flowers, Horace. We must protect them as best we can.

Horace: R-r-r…

Mr. Splindle: But you know there are some women who are more like weeds. They live between the cracks of society and deserve none of our esteem. They are the sort we are going to see tonight, Horace. Weeds. Objects just looking for men like us to pollinate them. (rubs hands together) Tonight I’d like to go pollinate a few of those weeds.

Horace: M-M-M-Mr. Ssssssp-p-plinnndle?

Mr. Splindle: YES Horace?

Horace: Go f-f-fuck yourself sir.

Horace gets off the bus.


Next stop: Saturday, October 25th, 8:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story. Hank


5 thoughts on “54. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

  1. Pingback: 136. Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right | inspiration in progress

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