It wasn’t that Melissa didn’t like Teddy. It was the light in his eyes when he looked at her that she couldn’t abide. Half the time it made her feel as though she might be stuck with a man who followed her around like a pesky dog for the rest of her breathing days, and the other half of the time his glint-gaze gave her the creeps. She was afraid if she gave in and decided to sleep with him (finally) she might never wake up.

The one time she tried to end it it had been raining. She stood at the precipice of a puddle and he stood in it. She couldn’t help but wonder if his shoes were filled with water. How could she break up with a man with wet feet? Melissa may have been many things, but heartless wasn’t one of them.

So she decided to write him a poem. To let him down from a distance, where she wouldn’t know if he was standing in a puddle like a pathetic, gallant clown. Her first attempt was a limerick:

There once was a girl we won’t mention
Who was getting far too much attention
She was getting the creeps
When he said, ‘it’s for keeps’

But Melissa couldn’t come up with another word that rhymed with ‘attention,’ so she tried another:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m breaking up with you.

It seemed far too abrupt. And if she was going to be abrupt, why not just text him with the news? She tried:

Dear Teddy. I can’t see you any more. Your eyes are weird. Love, Melissa.

but she didn’t want to lead him on with the words ‘dear’ and ‘love.’

So in the end she simply approached him with a bucket of cold water, threw it at him and told him to figure it out for himself.

Melissa’s only regret is that she might have put his light out for good. Someone else should definitely have had the benefit of that light. Someone more deserving.

This post is part of SoCS: http://lindaghill.com/2015/09/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-515/