Everyone is familiar with Kris Kringle. His legend is known far and wide. But few have heard of his younger, ultra-fit brother, Kris Tingle.
While Mr. Kringle entertains the girls and boys, granting their wishes for toys every Christmas day, Mr. Tingle serves a very different role. Kris Tingle is all about the ladies.
While the older brother asks the young’uns what they wish for, the younger sibling IS what all the the women in all the lands wish for. Perched upon his lap, he whispers in their ears of every goodie they could want. He is the presence beneath their trees, he tickles their every delight; they don’t call him Tingle for nothing.
Yet, Kris Tingle wants nothing more than to find that special gal to jingle his bells. While he searches the earth for her, he’ll continue to compete with his brother for legendary status. For it is no secret that Mr. Kringle is jealous of both his brother’s abilities, and his physique.
The Just Jot It January prompt of the day, “tingle,” is brought to you by the awesome Tessa. Check out her blog here: https://finallyawriter.com/
And you can be awesome too, by joining in JusJoJan! Check out the prompt post of the day, where you can find the rules and lots of other awesome posts, here: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/12/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-12th17/
They call me “Even Steven,” but I have a confession. I’m uneven. One of my legs is shorter than the other, one of my ears is bigger, and my nose is crooked. Come on, you think they’d at least notice that! But no, they still call me “Even Steven.”
Hey, there’s three of them now.
“Look, guys, it’s ‘Even Steven’!”
“Hi there, fellas. Let me ask you something. Why do you call me ‘Even Steven’?”
“You don’t know?”
“Nope, no clue.”
“You know our names, don’t you?”
“Errr, no, sorry.”
“I’m Steven, that’s Steven, and this guy over here is Steven, too.”
“And you’re even Steven. Get it?”
“Aha! No. I still don’t get it.”
Thank you once again to Dan the magnificent, who has helped me for the past three days with Just Jot It January. You can visit Dan’s amazing blog here: https://nofacilities.com/
Did you know you can join us in the Just Jot It January challenge any time? Click the following link to find out how, and to read all the other amazing posts! https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/10/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-10th17/
“…and by the power vested in me by the King, I now pronounce you Husband and Wives. You may kiss the 38 brides. I’ll just sit over here and talk to my friend. Let me know when you’re done.”
Reverend Gus walked to the back of the church and sat beside Reverend Harry.
“How’d it go?” asked Harry.
“Oh, you know. Not bad. You been sleeping?”
“Yeah. I’ve got a 63-party wedding after this one. Figured it’d be a good idea to catch a nap. ‘S gonna take a while.”
“Uh-huh.” Gus scratched behind his ear. “Hey, did you hear the King’s talking about putting an end to this multiple marriage thing?”
“Nooo. For serious?”
“Yep. I heard he’s going to start cutting off heads of any woman who covets her neighbour’s husband.”
“Ooooh, that’s gonna get messy. Better brush up on the funeral services.”
“Yep, good idea.”
Today’s “Power” prompt came from 20/20 Hines Sight. You can find her blog here: https://2020hines-sight.com/
And, of course, very special thanks to Dan for hosting the prompt for me today! Make sure you go and visit his most excellent and entertaining blog here: http://nofacilities.com/
Finally, you can read more Just Jot It January posts and find out how to join in here: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/09/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-9th17/ You can start any time!
He was a school crossing guard; we called him the Copsicle. Every September, he was there at the corner waiting for us. In the mornings he was cheerful. At lunchtime he was sullen. But after school, especially starting around Christmastime and up until March, he would stand, immovable, in the middle of the road, clutching his hand-held stop sign in a mittened fist with a smile frozen on his face.
People knew not to drive that way in the winter because the traffic was ridiculous. Three-point turns by drivers not wanting to break the law by going around a school crossing guard were common.
One day, (and I admit to this with no end of shame, even now that I am in my thirties and have children of my own) my friends and I stood in the middle of the road beside him and poked him. And we threw snowballs at him. But the smile never left his face.
I have no idea who came to get him, to warm him up in time to be cheerful for the morning commute. Perhaps they lit a fire around him to thaw him out. I’ll never know. My parents wouldn’t let me out of the house to check.
His legend lives on. My children tell the tale of the school crossing guard who, dedicated to his duty, would stand frozen to his post. And that every afternoon, we could count on the Copsicle to be there, to see us safely across the street.
Just Jot It January can be found here: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/04/one-liner-wednesday-jusjojan-417-prompt-pro-tip/ Click the link and join in today!
The lights are flashing. I see them up ahead even without my headlights. Do I pull a solo Thelma and Louise? I have about fifteen seconds to make up my mind.
They say your life flashes before your eyes. Mine would take a week. All the booze, drugs, sex, and
Today’s Just Jot It January prompt, “Warning,” was kindly suggested by Dan Antion. You can visit him here: https://nofacilities.com/
Just Jot It January can be found here: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/03/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-3rd17/ Click the link and join in any time!
“Yes, Sir. I know, Sir. I’m very sorry.”
“You know the number one rule when working for the Department of the Interior is that you’re never late!”
“I’m very, very sorry, Sir.”
“Do you understand why it’s so important that you never be late?”
“Yes, Sir. It’s because we’re the Department of the Interior.”
“And it’s the Department of the Interior for what?”
“For Time itself, Sir.”
“Which means it’s the Department In Time, Sir.”
“That’s right! You could have destroyed Time altogether! Don’t be late again.”
“I won’t, Sir.”
Today’s Just Jot It January prompt, “Time,” was brought to us by JoAnna! Read her post here: https://joannesilvia.com/2017/01/02/time-time-time-catching-up/ To participate in JusJoJan, go here: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/02/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-2nd17/ It’s fun!
“Okay Doc, I’m ready for the bad news. What is it?”
“I’m sorry, Charlie, but your condition is fatal.”
“No! No, no, no! It can’t be. Marvin had it last year, and he recovered!”
“Marvin’s not like you. He only has six legs. You’ve got eight.”
“I suppose that’s true. Okay then, Doc, how long have I got?”
“I’m giving you a week. Unless you starve to death before then.
“I’m sorry, Charlie. But a spider with restless leg syndrome isn’t going to be attracting a lot of Marvins.”
Thanks to Barbara for today’s prompt, “Spider!” https://teleportingweena.wordpress.com/2017/01/01/spider-dance-just-jot-it-january-2017/
Click here to participate in Just Jot It January: https://lindaghill.com/2017/01/01/jusjojan-daily-prompt-jan-1st17/
“Darling, did you take my library book back yesterday?”
“No, my dear. We don’t have a library in town.”
“But it says here in this book–look, now–right here. For return or renewal on December 28th.”
“I see that, my dear, but the rest of the date states it should have been back in 2012.”
“Of course. That’s this year.”
“No it’s not. This year is 2016. You forget, you’ve been sleeping for four years.”
“Yes, my dear. You only woke up last week, the day after we moved. I had to have you packed in a wardrobe.”
“No, dear, I’m not.”
“If you’re not, you know what that means, don’t you Darling?”
“It means I should sue the movers for waking you up?”
“No, it means we’re going to owe four years in late fees on this damned library book!”
In my room I is safe. From all those happenin’s out there in the big cruel world. I sees it. Oh Lord, do I see it. On that social media shit, comin’ in from all sides. This person dyin’ and that country gettin’ blown up. It has the ‘tential to get to a man, you know?
But here I is safe. Long as I don’t go out, don’t inneract on that social shit goin’ on in front of me. I don’t watch the news anymore. Too depressin’. Same thing all over again.
Makes a man want to never go out. I may jus’ starve here in my safe room. Better’n life out there.
“When I’m on stage, whether I’m making the audience laugh, or scream, or shake their heads in disbelief, I feel happy. When I’m on stage with you doing all these things, I feel content.
“When I’m up there performing magic for their pleasure, I feel elated; I experience their reactions and I am one with them. When you are with me up there beneath the lights, my love, I am one with the universe. I am home.”
~ Stephen Dagmar: The Great Dagmaru
The Great Dagmaru, Book 1: The Magician’s Curse
To be released in June 2017