I’ve been living alone this way for so long I don’t remember what it’s like to talk to other people. I order my food online and grunt to the delivery man at the door as I hand him my debit card – my bank account is stocked automatically.

All there is, is you my darling.

My family won’t talk to me anymore; they say I am delusional. But you and I know better.

You and I talk, sometimes. There was only that one time when we met and I was able to look you in the eye, in person. But we talk now, don’t we.

I know I’ve told you already, but I loved you the moment I set eyes on you. Your eyes a brilliant blue and your teeth are the most perfect I have ever seen on a real person. You are so talented.

You and I were meant to be together. I know it. I dream about you all the time. When I see your picture or when I see a video on Youtube it’s as if you perform just for me.

I caught you on a chat on Twitter once, remember? You said you remembered meeting me back then and you loved what I was wearing. I was so happy when you said that.

But it’s our nocturnal chats I love the most, when we meet in the ether and you tell me you love me and that we were meant to be together for all eternity.

I believe it’s true. I believe you are right. We are soulmates. I will wait for you.

I’m still a virgin. I’ll wait. I love you so much.