Let me tell you a secret. It’s a naughty secret, a nasty secret. It will chill you to your bones.

Let me whisper it softly in your ear. Come on, you can’t resist. Can you?

Now remember, this is an important secret. If you tell, it will change the world as we know it. Yes. It’s that important.

And trust me, only you will know.

I have faith in you, my friend, to keep this secret to yourself, forever more.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

…

…

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The tooth fairy is Santa Claus in drag.