Instructions on side of box read:
1. Carefully slice the circular sticker holding the top flap, using a sharp knife.
2. Lift flap. Caution: Do not look inside box.
3. With arms extended, reach into box and find the green tab.
“Wait. How can I find the green tab if I can’t look inside the box?”
4. The green tab is smooth; the blue tab has pockets.
“What the hell are tab pockets?”
“Okay, got it.”
5. Pull the green tab gently toward you.
6. When you feel a breeze, cease pulling.
7. Clasp blue tab and count to nine.
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…”
“…eight? Why did you stop counting?”
“Damn it, Marty! We bought a box of stinky wind for nothing!”
Wind is the prompt. Bizarre is the story.