Walking down the sidewalk with my shopping bags in hand, you’d think I have everything I need. But then there’s you. On the other side of the busy street, chatting with your friends and seemingly having fun. But I know you’re not. You can’t be. Because I’m way over here.
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“There’s something I have to get off my chest.”
“What now?” She’d heard all his bullshit before – at least she assumed it was bullshit. Nothing he said when he was feeling guilty ever made sense.
“I think you should sit down.”
“Are you at least going to take your coat off?” He was still wet, dripping on the floor.
“I have to go back out.”
“Okay then, hurry up. I don’t have time for this today.”
“I’ve been seeing another woman.”
“Oh, that old thing again?” She didn’t believe him this time any more than she had the last three times he had confessed this same sin against their marriage.
“I’m leaving with her now. She’s out in the car.”
She tapped her foot. “Can you pick up milk while you’re out?”
A single tear fell from his cheek. “You just don’t get it, do you?”
“Actually, I was at the store just yesterday and I forgot.”
He stared at her, agape. “Do you even care?”
“Of course I do! I can’t have coffee without milk!”
He turned and stepped back out into the pouring rain, checking for his wallet.
I am a ghost.
Or was I? I believe I am standing in the rain, buckets pouring down on me I am
Slippery in slippers. Why am I wearing
Long loose clothing, layered chiffon blowing in the breeze high upon the roof of
Deep cold metal framework? I feel
Hot ash laying in the sun. My bones ache ooooh how
blistered and blushed up brushes forward
My hair. Black. Over my face. It is so dark so dark so I can’t see why can’t I
am a ghost.
Saw it! I glimpsed the pale horse, steam from his nostrils he lifted me
Up on high mountain
top of the windy cliff. The sea smashes
my ahhh I can fly now!
NO! I stand in my mother’s living room but wait, this is from before
She cries why? I can see her through
shades of gray silk I cross my arms angrily growling I am
a ghost.
But wait! There! Right there a scrap of paper with my name! Surely if
My name remains I must be
Alive. It is there written in stone. In the pale moonlight
in a cemetery.
I walk, the cold sleet slashing my skin and
I don’t breathe
in the air of the night brisk chill diamond cut
I bled
out of the darkness I see light I see light
blind
I am alive. I am a
ghost.
Linda G. Hill 