Sarcasm drips so easily from your palate to your tongue that it’s hard to keep up with you. But I try.

“So you’re saying you don’t want broccoli for dinner tonight?”

“Oh yes, I love broccoli. I love to look at it and smell it and do all kinds of naughty things with it.”

I slow my speech. “So, you’re saying, you don’t want broccoli, for dinner tonight?”

“What the fuck do you think?”

“I’ll do beans.”

“NO! NO! I don’t want beans, I want broccoli, you stupid bitch!”

I long for you to grow out of the terrible twos.