“Do you ever get close to the end of something, but then you’re too tired to finish?”
“Sometimes.”
“Do you ever see a walrus behind the wheel of a car and he runs a red light and you’re, like, what the fuck is that walrus doing with a license?”
“All the time.”
“Do you ever play a game where you ask a completely absurd question to someone and they answer with a straight face?”
“Can’t say I have.”
“And in other news, the big fluffy clouds will puke out some snow.”
Harvey the anchor smiles at the camera while whispering out of the corner of his mouth, “Jerry, what the hell am I reading?”
To which Jerry replies, “Just keep reading!”
“The snow will consist of styrofoam clumps, coated in coffee grinds…”
“Jerry! I can’t read this shit!”
“Keep reading!!”
“… and by five o’clock your afternoon commute will resemble …”
“Jerry! What is that word?”
“Shmoopimple.”
“Shmoopimple?”
“Yes! Read it!”
“…your afternoon commute will resemble shmoopimple, wall to wall traffic. And that’s the news.”
And that was the day Harvey quit his job at the community college television network.
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Linda G. Hill 