JusJoJan the 31st, a 50 word story

I can’t believe it. It was so clumsy. I just wanted to ask her out but… I should have known not to approach her in the cafeteria. First there was the tomato soup, then the poutine… Now she’ll never date me. I shouldn’t have asked her to apologize. Dumb ass.

JJJ 2016

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JusJoJan the 30th – An- (#SoCS)

Antoinette Ant thought to write an anthology. Her fellow ants told her, “You can’t do that! You’re just an ant!” But Antoinette replied, “Ah, but I am a French ant! And I am also the Aunt of the King!”

So Antoinette bought a typewriter. She wrote of feats unheard of, where gallant ant warriors heaved seeds, and dead wasps that wouldn’t even fit through the door of the castle, and rocks the size of pebbles to build the greatest homes in the land. And then she sent her anthology off to be published.

And she waited.

And she waited.

Until one day Antoinette heard back from a publishing house that was interested… in her warriors. For a cat had knocked down their house.

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JusJoJan the 29th – Ghost, a 50-word story

Your ghost haunts me, even now. I lay here searching the stars for the one that might be you, the cold ground beneath me, surrounding me; I know you are beside me. The first shovelful of dirt hits my chest and I wonder, why are they burying me at night?

 

JJJ 2016

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JusJoJan the 28th – Serendipity, a poem

Ideas drip down
Like serendipity from the heavens
Of what you might look like
When I finally set eyes
On a scrap of your coat
Or the cut of your jeans
Should a glimpse of the back of your head
In a crowd
Light my nerves
Make me run to catch up
To find
The ring on your finger
third from the thumb
and so
I’ll keep waiting
For drips of serendipity
‘Til I die.

JJJ 2016

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JusJoJan the 27th – Mendaciloquent, a Haiku

Mendaciloquence;

poison spat from your mouth hole

is drenched in Splenda

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JusJoJan the 26th – Oneness, a poem

You and me
Me and you
You’n’me
Me’n’you
Younme
Menyou
Yummy
Menu
I think I’ll have a bite to eat.

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JusJoJan the 25th – It’s Magic!, a 50-word story

“And for my next sleight of hand,” said the prestidigitator, “I will turn this potato into a magician!”

The magician bends, knife in hand, and carves the spud into the shape of a number one.

He opens his palms to present his work of art and says:

“Presto! Digit tater!”

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JusJoJan the 24th – Compelled, a 50-word story

I’m compelled to do things just to piss you off. Like leave the toilet seat up after I’ve told you a thousand times to put it down, or chop off your balls because I caught you cheating on me. And I would. If it wasn’t for all my own affairs.

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JusJoJan the 23rd – Odd/Even (#SoCS)

The first time he proposed I wasn’t ready, so I said no.

The second time he proposed I said no because I hate even numbers.

Now I don’t think he’ll propose again. I want him to but I can’t tell him because that will curse our marriage, according to my mom’s superstition.

Why can’t a guy just understand me for once?

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JusJoJan the 22nd – Felicity, a 50-word story

“Hey Hank! What do you think of my letter?”

Dear Felicity,
Your duplicity is unprecedented. Your name implies delights unimaginable and yet you refuse to go down on me. What gives?

“Errr, Stan? Her name’s Felicity. Not Fellatio.”

“Oh. OHHH!”

Dear Felicity,
Please accept deepest apologies for my recent behaviour…

JJJ 2016

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