Preachy – #AtoZ Challenge (AC – language)

“And here’s the tow truck. What did I tell you?” the man asked his wife rhetorically.

The tow truck pulled up in front of the man’s car and the driver got out. “Is this here your car?”

“It is, and you’re not taking it anywhere, young man.”

“I gotta. The police said so.”

“Do you realize who I am?”

“No, but I’m the tow truck driver and you’d better call a taxi.”

“I see.” The man slipped his hands in his pockets and took a teacher-like stance before the tow truck operator. “It’s not what you do for a living, young Sir, it’s how you deal with a crisis that shows your true character.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that got to do with me?”

“I hope to teach you a lesson today. You are about to tow away an absolutely priceless car, and yet I remain calm. What would you do if you were in my position?”

“I’d probably start thumbing.”

“An excellent answer for one who has so little money.”

“Uh-huh. Except you said it doesn’t matter what I do for a living. If I had a better job, I might take a taxi too.”

“I think you’d have far more fun thumbing a ride, don’t you?”

The tow truck driver smiled and nodded.

Just then, the man’s wife emitted a high-pitched scream from the direction of the ditch. The man hurried around his car, bent, and then stood to address the tow truck driver. “My wife’s in labour! Call a fucking ambulance!”

The tow truck operator whipped out his phone. Three minutes later, the man stood back as the ambulance attendant loaded his wife into the back, to transfer her to hospital. As the man moved to join her, the tow truck driver held out and hand to stop him.

“What do you do for a living, anyway?” he asked the man.

“I’m a priest,” the man replied.

Author’s Notes:

1. This started in my head with an opening sentence. By the time I finished and edited it, the sentence ended up in the middle. I find it a bit long-winded, but I’m too tired to edit any more. Hope you enjoy it.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Obsessive – #AtoZ Challenge

“Jimmy!” calls Mom from downstairs. “It’s time to get up for school!”

“Aww, Mom, I’m sick!”

“No you’re not! You just stayed up too late playing that stupid game!”

“No I didn’t!” Jimmy exclaims. I haven’t been to bed yet, he thinks.

Author’s Notes:

1. We’ve all been there, for one reason or another.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Nosy – #AtoZ Challenge

“Did you see that?”

“See what, Mom?”

“The woman in that house we just drove past. She was naked!”

“She was in her own house!”

“Well, she didn’t have to stand near the window with no clothes on.”

“And you didn’t have to look in her window!”

“Hmph.”

“Next time, Mother, you’re driving.”

“What, so you can look in windows instead of me?”

“No!”

“Don’t tell me you don’t look in windows.”

“If I do, I picked the habit up from you.”

“Exactly.”

Author’s Notes:

1. Don’t you love people who look in windows at night? Don’t you love people who leave their curtains open at night even more? Admit it. You looked.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Magnanimous in 50 words – #AtoZ Challenge

“Billy?”

“Yes, Dad?”

“Where did all my Chivas Regal go?”

“I gave it to the people at the soup kitchen.”

“You what? What would possess you to do such a thing?”

“Well you said I should practice generosity of spirit…”

“Of ‘spirit,” not ‘spirits’! I meant go dish out soup!”

Author’s Notes:

1. I had fun with this one.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Lazy – #AtoZ Challenge

“It’s a juggling act, you know?” Marvin says as he puts his feet up on his desk. “I get back from lunch and I’ve got this to do, and that to do… but in the end, it’s just easier to get Bob to do it.”

“I’m Bob,” says Bob. “It was my twin brother, Frank, you sent out to do your run.”

“And you know what, Bob? I appreciate it. You can tell your brother that when he gets back.” Marvin sits up and shuffles some papers on his desk. “Well! Gotta get back to work!”

“Asshole,” Bob mumbles as he leaves.

As soon as the door closes, Marvin puts his feet back up.

Author’s Notes:

1. I decided early on to put the character I’m describing (in this case, lazy) in the scene or story, rather than just talk about him or her. It’s proving harder than I thought it would; complaining about a lazy person–or talking about one–is easier to write than showing one.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Kleptomaniac in 50 words – #AtoZ Challenge

They’re coming. I hear the sirens. And here I sit in a room with the evidence. There’s nowhere to hide it and there’s nowhere for me to hide. I’m finished. Unless… I blame it on my roommate! Yeah! It’ll take them a while to figure out I don’t have one.

Author’s Notes:

1. When writing a short story, I like to get to the point rather than get too deep into the psychology. I save that sort of in-depth character development for my novels. I enjoy writing 50-word stories. This one ran 57, I went back and removed some unnecessary words. I find it to be an excellent editing exercise.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Jester – #AtoZ Challenge

Knock, knock, knock.

“Why are you knocking at my window?”

“I vant to come een!”

“What for? Hey, how did you get up to the second floor?”

“A ladder.”

“Why should I let you in?”

“Eet’s cold out here! And besides, I vant to play cards.”

“Just play cards?”

“But, of course!”

Click. Creak.

“Thank you.”

“Wait! What are you doing?”

“I’m biting your neck.”

“But you said you wanted to play cards!”

“I do! We’ll play spades later.”

Author’s Notes:

1. Writing is hard, sometimes. *sigh* Can I get away with calling this one funny?

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Intoxicated – #AtoZ Challenge

Scene: A drunk middle-aged man sits beside an elderly lady on a long overseas flight. She is in the window seat.

Man: I… I don’t have a problem, y’know. (tips plastic cup in her general direction)

Lady: (staring forward) Mmmhmm.

Man: My wife left me.

Lady: I’m sorry.

Man: You’re sorry. It’s my wwwife who should mbe sorry. She thinks I have n dringking problem.

Lady: Mmmhmm.

Man: You don’t b’lieve me. Why don’t you open the window n jus’ jump out.

Lady: (pushes “call attendant” button)

Man: What choo do that for? I don’t have a problem!

Attendant: (smiling) How can I help you?

Lady: I wonder if I might change seats?

Attendant: I’m sorry, Ma’am, the plane is full.

Man: Shhh…she thingks I have a problem.

Lady: (looks up pleadingly at the attendant)

Attendant: Sir, would you like to come with me?

Man: (grins) Anywhere you want, darlin’. (stands, swaying and follows her toward the front of the plane)

Five minutes passes. The attendant goes by and the lady flags her down.

Lady: I just wanted to say thank you for removing that nasty man. Where did you put him after all? I thought the plane was full.

Attendant: Oh! (laughs) That was the pilot.

Author’s Notes:

1. I had no idea where this was going. I actually made myself laugh at the end.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Harbinger – #AtoZ Challenge #SoCS

I tell them by day and by night. Hours, I spend on street corners until dirty, ignorant cops send me on my way. I will not give up. They must know:

The devil is rising. He will come in the form of a man made of gold and hot air. He will smile as he shakes his fist. He will raise the masses to a frenzy of feeding upon their fellow man.

He will come, mark my words. And when he does, we will have no place to go… except Mars or Jupiter of course.

Author’s Notes:

1. This started with the envisioning of a street corner preacher. Being that it was Stream of Consciousness, I just let it go… off the planet. Extra points if you know who the “devil” is.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to join in today!

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Gregarious – #AtoZ Challenge

“Let’s see; on Monday night I have dinner with the boss, and on Tuesday evening I’m going to my sister’s best friend’s cousin’s baseball practice. On Wednesday it’s beers with the guys from work… I might be able to fit you in Thursday. No wait! That’s pot-luck night at the neighbour’s place. Friday I’m going to the movies with my brother, and Saturday is football. Saturday is definitely out. Can I fit you in on Sunday, say at between ten and midnight?

“Suzie?

“Great. She hung up on me again. What a way for a wife to treat her husband!”

Author’s Notes:

1. Some guys just get no respect. And some are oblivious. I just came up with the first line and ran with this one.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.