How doth one protesteth a petty injustice, when one’s very sustenance is at stake?
“Mummy? Whilst thou giveth me mine cookie?”
Ah, to babble, perchance to speak? Perhaps whence mine age becometh two.
#dailypost
Martyr
“Okay guys, I’m going in. Gonna take one for the team.”
“But Timmie, you’ll die!”
“Yeah, Timmie! If you break away, chances are you’re not gonna make it!”
“Gordon, Freddie, it’s okay. It was nice knowin’ ya.”
“Noo!! Timmie, nooo!!”
“Oh well, there goes one of the good ones. Aaaand SMOOSH! Okay, who’s up next? Ralph? Ralph? Come on, Ralph, you can beat that fly swatter!”
“Yeah, Ralphie! You’re the quickest one there is!”
“”Okay guys, I’m going in. Gonna take one for the team.”
“But Ralphie, you’ll die!”
“Yeah Ralphie! Or maybe you’ll make it! See ya soon, Ralphie! Aaaand SMOOSH! Man, it’s good these guys have a short memory. Who’s up next? Hey, Marty!”
Vanished
Mom’s going to kill me. She left me alone for one measly weekend. “It’ll be okay!” I said. “I’ll take care of everything. Don’t worry, go have fun!” She’s going to be home in ten minutes and the dog has disappeared. Vanished. One minute he was on his chain in the back yard and the next, he’s just gone. His collar is there, still done up but no dog.
Can she blame me for this? Not if she believes me. But I know what she’s going to say. I staged it to look like some mysterious thing happened to her baby. Her favourite pet of all time. God, she loves that dog more than she loves me.
What the hell am I going to do?
Maybe I’ll disappear, too.
Hello?
“Do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“That echo. It happens every time I speak.”
“No. Does it do it when I speak?”
“No. Only when I do.”
“Then it must be in your head.”
“It’s not in my head. I can hear it… it… it… Did you hear that?”
“That was just you saying ‘it’ three times.”
“So you heard it then! It’s not just in my head.”
“No! No, no, no. I heard you say ‘it’ three times. You actually said it. I heard you do it!”
“Now it’s happening when you do it too! I just heard you say ‘it’ three times!”
“Because I actually said ‘it’ three times. It’s not an echo. It’s me speaking!”
“Whoa…”
“What now?”
“Now your ‘it’s are coming out with esses on them. And so did mine… This is freaky!”
“No, you are freaky.”
“Now it’s happening with the word ‘freaky’! I’m freaking out!”
“Okay, that’s it. Excuse me, I’d like to sit somewhere else. Last time I’m taking this bus to work. Freak.”
fade away
burst onto the scene
all bright smiles and glitter
you are
a thousand sparks of light
in infamous colour
an outburst of heat
all ornamentation and lust
an angel in flight
how long can you go?
the change it takes
to light up a room
is a weight in gold, my friend
and all the elegant stars
in the sky
cannot energize you
forever
will you super nova?
caught up in the air
above their heads
will you suddenly need
a safety net
god forbid
or will you just, my friend
fade away?
Cultured
“Arthur, face it. That little strumpet Arthur Junior brought home will never fit in.”
“But Henrietta, dear, she’s the only one he’s invited for dinner, and he’s twenty-five years old. We have to at least consider her.”
“Nonsense. You can’t turn a sack of chaff into a cultured pearl. It just can’t be done.”
“Well then what are we going to do, darling? Your son is as ugly as sin.”
“My son? He’s got your name.”
“Would you rather we’d called him Henry Junior? Quiet. Here they come.
“We were just discussing you, Junior.”
“Arthur…”
“Your mother was commenting on what a lovely lady you’ve brought home with you.”
“Her name is ‘Jennifer,’ Arthur.”
“Yes, yes. Jennifer. Which school did you say you attended? Hard knocks, you say? Har har har. Yes, well. I think you’re needed on the phone, Junior. The yacht club called. Yes, they’ve been holding on for fifteen minutes. Geeves will see Miss Jennifer out. So long, Jennifer.”
…
“I think you handled that quite well, Arthur.”
“Thank you, Henrietta, my dear.”
Stinky
“You in the back row, um… let me see… Sarah, please use the word ‘pungent’ in a sentence.”
“Walter, in my math class, is very pungent.”
“Sarah! That’s not very nice. Do you know what the word ‘pungent’ means?”
“Yes, it means smelly.”
“That’s right. Step out into the hall, please. And don’t come back in until I tell you to.”
“But, Miss Foster…”
“I said go out of the class, young lady.”
…
“Now. What is the next word? Ah, yes. This is a good one. Nick? I remember your name. Would you please use the word ‘warren’ in a sentence.”
“Walter would live in a warren if he didn’t live in a cage in our math class.”
“Ahem. Very good, Nick. Would you please do me a favour and ask Sarah to come back in?”
Black Friday
“Are you ready for our chaotic day at the shops tomorrow, then?”
“It’s the ‘stores,’ luv. We’re in America now.”
“Oh, all right then. The ‘stores.’ Are we taking the lorry or the car?”
“We’re going to take the truck. We’d better if we’re going to buy a new bed.”
“Right then. Better get the shopping bags out of the boot of the car for the small stuff.”
…
“What’s that sigh for?”
“Nothing, me luv. Did you ask them to close off the lift when we get back?”
“Yes I did. And it’s the ‘elevator.'”
Linda G. Hill 