General Fiction

Contemptuous – #AtoZ Challenge (AC – language)

He approaches me as I walk in the door of my office building: “Excuse me, Sir?”

“Yes?” I say, but I’m thinking: Look at you and your sniveling grin. You’re going to ask me for a favour, aren’t you, you grimy little slice of dick-cheese pie. You flunkies are all the same.

“You parked outside in a no-parking zone.”

Get a fucking life. “Let me tell you, young neophyte, when I was your age I didn’t dare tell the owner of such a grand building as this where he could and couldn’t park.”

“But Sir, your car’s getting towed away.”

Author’s Notes:

1. I’ve known a few people in my lifetime who thought their money held them above others in every way. It’s fun to cut them and their contemptuous ways down to size, even if it’s just through fiction.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Times, they are a’changin’ – a 50-word story

On my word, I have never seen anything like it in all my eighty years! Walking up the street as if it owned it, all my-shit-doesn’t-stink, nose-in-the-air swagger. And it was on a leash too! Dangling out of the trousers it was barely wearing ’round its ankles. Kids these days!

Boisterous – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge

My name is Desdemona and I’m a fan. God, I sound like I’m in an AA meeting or something. But the guys in the band are just so freaking cute!! I see a picture of them online – like, backstage or something? – and I just squeeee!!!! And OMG can you believe I actually got tickets to their concert? It’s not for another two months but I can’t wait! My mom keeps saying I’ll flip the roof over with my squeeing. She can’t possibly understand!

I gotta call Ashley. We have to find out where the band is staying when they’re here…

Authors notes:

1. When I think of a boisterous character, my mind goes directly to Chester, the animated dog who plays sidekick to the bulldog named Spike, on The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show. Thus, it’s a challenge for me to come up with a human version of “boisterous.”

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Apathetic – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge

She can hear the kids downstairs screaming at one another, the screams occasionally punctuated with slaps and cries of pain, but she’s right in the middle of the good part of her book. The hero is about to smite the evil warlord and…

“Mom!” comes the holler from the lower floor. “Jimmie’s pulling the dog’s tail again!”

“Yeah, I know. Just a minute.”

“What are you doing up there?”

“I’m folding your clothes!” she lies. …just as Anoweth raises his sword to cleave the despicable Dromig in two…

“Mom!”

“There’s cookies in the cupboard!”

“What? I said Jimmie’s…”

“SHUT UP!”

Author’s notes:

1. The apathetic character is a difficult one to maintain. Apathy goes against my own nature, so I rely on what I’ve observed in others, along with my own tendency to sometimes get distracted to the point where I may seem apathetic. In reality I’m simply getting stressed over the need to help, and the inability to remove myself from my current situation.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Me Movie – a 50-word story

I think there should be a movie of me. It would show my awesome life: sailing around the world, fighting dragons, climbing really tall mountains, swimming to the bottom of the ocean, sorting mail, knitting scarves… Oh wait, I started daydreaming. Flying airplanes, finding gold close to the earth’s core…

The Chronicles of Mary, Part 1 – a 50-word story

One day, a strange man dressed in a business suit approached Mary, and asked her if he could call her “Ivy.”

“That’s not my name,” she said.

“Please?” he begged.

“Whatever.”

“Ivy,” he said. Then he ran away, pointing, and yelling, “Poison Ivy!”

That was Mary’s oddest day to date.

The News – a 50-word story

“It is not just black and white. There are bluish green areas over there, and if you look closely enough, you’ll see the occasional splotch of yellow. But the truth is, it is red all over.”

“Sir?”

“Yes, Todd?”

“What is it?”

“It’s a joke, Todd. Don’t you get it?”

Suspicious Coffee – an 100-word story

“What if,” I asked my husband as we sipped coffee from our china cups, “coffee contains some sort of secret ingredient that allows the government to read our thoughts.”

“What are you saying, Darling? That now coffee is part of your conspiracy theory? I honestly don’t know why I married you.”

“Now that you mention it, I was thinking the same thing. How could I have married someone who is so… insensitive to the possibility that everything is spying on us?”

“Everything is not… wait. Did you say you were thinking the same thing as I? Put down the cup.”

dalv – 50 words

I’m not a nocturnal wanderer. I love to sleep at night. I work hard while the sun shines – I get up as it rises, so that I may be ready to labour when the day begins.

The moment it sets, I go to my rest. I’m a vampire of light.

Bleak – an 100-word story

“Well then John, if she won’t have me, I’ll marry someone else!”

“You can’t just ‘marry someone else,’ old chap. The wedding is scheduled for tomorrow. You’ll have to call it off.”

“But I can’t do that. There are people coming from all over the world. I know, I’ll call Cupid.”

“Please don’t.”

“It’s too late. There he is at the window! Wait! Don’t aim it at me now!”

“Duck!”

“John? Please, will you marry me?”

“I should rather die!”

“But then, who will be my best man?”

“It won’t be me, old chap. I don’t swing that way.”

“Drat.”