Mary was standing at a bus stop, minding her own business, when a stranger approached her and asked her to take off her sunglasses. She did.
“You have the most beautiful eyes,” the man said breathlessly.
“I don’t have enough change to pay your fare,” she replied.
Sighing, the stranger moved on to the next person in line, who happened to be another man. The stranger walked away three minutes later with a bloody nose.
humor
Complicated
She knew in her heart he had another girl, but she had to to confirm it. She tried to sneak a peek at his phone, but she couldn’t get close enough. His friends would tell her nothing. Guys stick together.
So she had no choice but to go through all the profile pics of his connections on Facebook, to see if his face was there. When she hit the 2,347th “friend,” she decided to simply change her own relationship status to “It’s complicated” and ask him directly.
The one-word prompt on The Daily Post is “Complicated.”
Olympic Texting – 100 word drabble
“Okay, Mary, the players are neck in neck and coming to the finish line. Who will win the race for fastest text message?”
“Tommy’s in the lead now, Frank, with, ‘OMG SRSLY?'”
“And now it’s Gina with ‘WYSIWYG!'”
“They’re dead even! Time is running out!”
“What’s that? Did Tommy just… No! He was quick on his, ‘WTF’ but he forgot his punctuation! The judges aren’t going to like this.”
“You’re right, Frank. Especially the German judge.”
“It’s down to the wire. Gina’s has to come up with… She did it!”
“‘PMSL!’ For the win!”
“Gina is our new gold medalist!”
Maybe Dying
“I’m sorry, Marsha,” the doctor said as he sat back in his chair, behind his massive, expensive-looking desk. “There may be nothing I can do.”
“But… You’ve GOT to do something! I’m dying here!” Marsha gripped the arms of her own seat and lifted herself off it a few inches in agitation.
“Well let me see.” The doctor sat up, stared down his nose through his bifocals and flipped through a folder that lay on his desk. “There is something. But it’s going to take some money.”
“I’ll do anything! I’ll even go down to the bank for you myself!”
“Fine,” said the doctor. “Get me three cases of your Girl Guide cookies. I’ll give you a cheque.” He closed the folder. “Damned mothers and their little girls,” he muttered under his breath.
A Serious Joke
Pauly’s nerves threatened to cause his dinner to reappear as the tip of the knife pierced the skin on his throat.
“You couldn’t tell a joke if your life depended on it, could you?” the Master of Ceremonies asked.
Pauly should have known better than to enter Richard Bachman’s “The Funny Man” contest.
***
“Joke” is the one-word prompt on The Daily Post.
Painting is Hard Work
It was late December and all the elves were busy painting eggs when Santa came stomping into the factory.
“Shut down the production lines!” Santa bellowed from the middle of the floor.
“What for?” asked the grumpy foreman elf.
“The Easter Bunnies have overestimated their order again. We won’t be needing them.”
A groan went out somewhere in the back corner and from the front line, an Easter egg came rocketing through the air and hit Santa smack dab in the forehead.
Thus began the great Easter egg food fight of the century. When it was over and the last of the elves were leaving the factory after sweeping up the mess, someone commented that it was lucky the eggs were hollow, though it would have been more satisfying if they weren’t.
And that’s how Creme Eggs were invented.
***
Paint is the prompt word of the day at The Daily Post.
#SoCS – The Dog Days
I want to accept,
except accepting means
having to walk away
from having to walk
a mile in somebody else’s shoes
and let’s be honest here:
shoes don’t fit me.
I’m a dog, you see
although my owner thinks
I’m soft
I really don’t need
those rain boots she
keeps shoving on my feet
and the rain hat and cape?
Give me a break!
How does any
self-respecting dog
go out dressed like a human
and not expect
the other dogs not
to laugh?
Is that the front door?
My leash?
My… oh no, don’t tell me it’s raining…
I want to accept,
except accepting means
having to walk away
from a walk…
The shame!!
This unexpected poem is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here and join in! https://lindaghill.com/2016/08/05/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-616/
The Chronicles of Mary, Part 6 (A 50-word Story)
Being praised makes Mary uncomfortable. So when Mr. Johnson, Mary’s new boss, called her into his office to pay her a compliment, she quit on the spot. After three days of anxious idleness, Mary found the courage to return, smile confidently, and accept Mr. Johnson’s praise. Mary is still unemployed.
Praise is The Daily Post one-word prompt.
Nom
I wanna take a bite out of everything:
a donut
some fish
a giant watermelon
the girl who sits next to me in math…
I could chew thru the floor
’til I get to China
and then use chopsticks
to eat a Buddha
or maybe just a fortune cookie
that might tell me
how to get home
to my donut.
Craving is the one-word prompt at The Daily Post.
Profound
The job posting was a juicy one. One that I wasn’t qualified for, admittedly, but I wanted it so bad. I’d already asked around and no one else in my department had applied. So, I thought, what the hell?
I filled out the application and lied about having taken the university courses they required the successful applicant to have. But sure enough, a notice was posted a week later that someone else had gotten the job.
The bulletin read: Pro found.
Damn it.
Profound is the word of the day on The Daily Post.
Linda G. Hill 