writing

Bleak – an 100-word story

“Well then John, if she won’t have me, I’ll marry someone else!”

“You can’t just ‘marry someone else,’ old chap. The wedding is scheduled for tomorrow. You’ll have to call it off.”

“But I can’t do that. There are people coming from all over the world. I know, I’ll call Cupid.”

“Please don’t.”

“It’s too late. There he is at the window! Wait! Don’t aim it at me now!”

“Duck!”

“John? Please, will you marry me?”

“I should rather die!”

“But then, who will be my best man?”

“It won’t be me, old chap. I don’t swing that way.”

“Drat.”

math of us

if i take half of you
and half of me
will we be one
like frankenstein’s monster
but diminished?

if i draw you
and then quarter you
and then take four quarters
and put you back together
can you fit in
my whole?

if you divide your attention
but then we multiply
will our children
be a fraction
of us?

if you spend half your time
with me
and the other half
baking
can we
reinvent pi?

Shame – a 50-word story

It’s a major disaster. So much blood has been spilled. I had one job to do. Just one. How could I have been so careless?  I’ll never be able to show my face in public again!

I should have known I was too clumsy to work in a butcher shop.

Honey

22:30 Honey! Are you coming to bed?

Yeah! I’ll be there in a minute!

22:36 Honey! Are you coming to bed yet?

On my way, dear!

22:40 Honey! Are you…

I’m here.

Oh good. But before you get into bed, can you let the dog out?

…

22:54 Honey! Are you coming to bed soon?

The dog’s still outside!

Well get him in! I wanna snuggle!

Be there soon, dear!

23:01 Honey! Are you…

Yes.

Good. Get into bed.

… Honey, did you lock the front door?

No, didn’t you?

No.

23:09 Honey! Are you coming back to bed soon?

Be there in a minute!

What’s taking you so long?

Cat wanted in!

We don’t have a cat!

You sure?

Of course I am!

Okay! I gotta find the cat now and let him back out!

23:44 Honey! Are you coming…

I’m here.

What the hell happened to you? Where’d all those scratches come from?

The cat. It didn’t want to go out.

…Wait, what colour was the cat?

Black.

Maybe it was Blackie! I haven’t seen her since before we met! You’ve gotta go let her back in!

…

1:03 Honey! Did you find her yet?

… Honey? Honey where’d you go?

…

Honey?

…

Ugh. Men!

sleep

you are a ball of light
drifting in and out
resting above my drunken eyes
tumbling past my brain to rest
like a collar around my neck
and then
as you heat my body
enwrapped in your warm afterglow
i know
you are mine
for the night

#SoCS – A Lifetime of Balls

I woke up this morning to find a bag of balls on my front stoop. They were all the balls I’ve ever owned in my life. Ones I played catch with, with my dad; ones that went over fences never to be retrieved; ones that hung on the Christmas tree during the first year of my first marriage… Right up until the ball I was playing with yesterday – one of the three I was juggling at the kid’s birthday party. Yes, I’m a clown. The only one they missed is the ball on my nose. Of course, I sleep with that one.

The bag of balls is someone’s idea of a dirty trick, obviously. Probably someone I left in the sewer system…

AUTHOR’S NOTE: If I could edit this I’d leave a hint somewhere that shows earlier that my stream of consciousness ended up at a killer clown.

socs-badge-2015

And that’s what SoCS is all about! Check it out here: http://lindaghill.com/2016/03/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-1216/

the cause of my insomnia

there are days, when I can’t
think of a thing, to write
when I hear a whistle in my ear
and realize it’s the wind
coming from the other direction

there are days, and this is one of them
that I just want to say, good night
and turn off the light, close my eyes
and lay awake, thinking of all
the things I want to write
tomorrow

Campers Welcome, a 50-word story

The sign on the gate of the public campsite, said, “Welcome all, whether happy or sad.” And so the happy campers and the sad campers sat side-by-side at their bonfires, telling ghost stories and playing tunes. Sometimes they all woke up happy and sometimes, sad, but the mosquitoes always won.

How Misunderstood – 100 words

“Dino?”

“Yes Dad?”

“Where’s my trailer?”

“It’s at the bottom of the hill.”

“I thought I told you to put blocks under the wheels.”

“Yeah but…”

“I was going to go get the truck to hook it up.”

“I know, Dad, but…”

“You let my trailer go down the hill by itself. Now I’ve got to go down there and dig it out of the ditch.”

“Yeah, I know, but…

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Well it’s what you said!”

“What I said? What did I say?”

“You told me you wanted everything today to go down without a hitch!”

sputter

it was bound to happen
when we met
and the light in your eyes
lit like a brand new spot
in the showcase of a diamond store
and for years it shone
and we were so
ha ha ha
happy
until the day i cheated
and you found out
and then i watched with regret
as that light in your eyes
dimmed and then
pt pt pt
sputtered out