Flash Fiction

Harbinger – #AtoZ Challenge #SoCS

I tell them by day and by night. Hours, I spend on street corners until dirty, ignorant cops send me on my way. I will not give up. They must know:

The devil is rising. He will come in the form of a man made of gold and hot air. He will smile as he shakes his fist. He will raise the masses to a frenzy of feeding upon their fellow man.

He will come, mark my words. And when he does, we will have no place to go… except Mars or Jupiter of course.

Author’s Notes:

1. This started with the envisioning of a street corner preacher. Being that it was Stream of Consciousness, I just let it go… off the planet. Extra points if you know who the “devil” is.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Click here to join in today!

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Gregarious – #AtoZ Challenge

“Let’s see; on Monday night I have dinner with the boss, and on Tuesday evening I’m going to my sister’s best friend’s cousin’s baseball practice. On Wednesday it’s beers with the guys from work… I might be able to fit you in Thursday. No wait! That’s pot-luck night at the neighbour’s place. Friday I’m going to the movies with my brother, and Saturday is football. Saturday is definitely out. Can I fit you in on Sunday, say at between ten and midnight?

“Suzie?

“Great. She hung up on me again. What a way for a wife to treat her husband!”

Author’s Notes:

1. Some guys just get no respect. And some are oblivious. I just came up with the first line and ran with this one.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Flirtatious – #AtoZ Challenge

“Come here often?”

He said it before he even got his ass parked on the barstool. I was incredulous. “Are you kidding me? Is that the best you can come up with?”

“Well, I could have said, ‘Are you Antarctica? Because my North Pole is attracted to you!'”

I laughed despite myself. We’ve been married ever since.

Author’s Notes:

1. I love a good cheesy pick-up line. They’re fun to make up.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Dumb – #AtoZ Challenge

I got it! I finally got a way to get on America’s Funniest Videos! This is gonna be great. All I have to do is cover the peak of the roof with sheet metal, and build a ramp coming down to it off the top of the barn. Oh, and I need my skateboard. Duh! I’m gonna grind for the camera, baby!

Author’s Notes:

1. It’s obvious where my inspiration for this piece came from, yet I have to hand it to the people who make up a good portion of those who get their videos on the show; their ideas are brilliant. It took me a while to come up with something original.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Contemptuous – #AtoZ Challenge (AC – language)

He approaches me as I walk in the door of my office building: “Excuse me, Sir?”

“Yes?” I say, but I’m thinking: Look at you and your sniveling grin. You’re going to ask me for a favour, aren’t you, you grimy little slice of dick-cheese pie. You flunkies are all the same.

“You parked outside in a no-parking zone.”

Get a fucking life. “Let me tell you, young neophyte, when I was your age I didn’t dare tell the owner of such a grand building as this where he could and couldn’t park.”

“But Sir, your car’s getting towed away.”

Author’s Notes:

1. I’ve known a few people in my lifetime who thought their money held them above others in every way. It’s fun to cut them and their contemptuous ways down to size, even if it’s just through fiction.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Times, they are a’changin’ – a 50-word story

On my word, I have never seen anything like it in all my eighty years! Walking up the street as if it owned it, all my-shit-doesn’t-stink, nose-in-the-air swagger. And it was on a leash too! Dangling out of the trousers it was barely wearing ’round its ankles. Kids these days!

Boisterous – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge

My name is Desdemona and I’m a fan. God, I sound like I’m in an AA meeting or something. But the guys in the band are just so freaking cute!! I see a picture of them online – like, backstage or something? – and I just squeeee!!!! And OMG can you believe I actually got tickets to their concert? It’s not for another two months but I can’t wait! My mom keeps saying I’ll flip the roof over with my squeeing. She can’t possibly understand!

I gotta call Ashley. We have to find out where the band is staying when they’re here…

Authors notes:

1. When I think of a boisterous character, my mind goes directly to Chester, the animated dog who plays sidekick to the bulldog named Spike, on The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show. Thus, it’s a challenge for me to come up with a human version of “boisterous.”

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Apathetic – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge

She can hear the kids downstairs screaming at one another, the screams occasionally punctuated with slaps and cries of pain, but she’s right in the middle of the good part of her book. The hero is about to smite the evil warlord and…

“Mom!” comes the holler from the lower floor. “Jimmie’s pulling the dog’s tail again!”

“Yeah, I know. Just a minute.”

“What are you doing up there?”

“I’m folding your clothes!” she lies. …just as Anoweth raises his sword to cleave the despicable Dromig in two…

“Mom!”

“There’s cookies in the cupboard!”

“What? I said Jimmie’s…”

“SHUT UP!”

Author’s notes:

1. The apathetic character is a difficult one to maintain. Apathy goes against my own nature, so I rely on what I’ve observed in others, along with my own tendency to sometimes get distracted to the point where I may seem apathetic. In reality I’m simply getting stressed over the need to help, and the inability to remove myself from my current situation.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Breaking Up – a 50-word … thing

Dear You,

I’m sorry we broke up. The sad fact is, you are who you must be and I am who I have to be, and it seems there is no compromise. A serial killer and a saint are just not suited for marriage. I should have known.

Love,

Me

Me Movie – a 50-word story

I think there should be a movie of me. It would show my awesome life: sailing around the world, fighting dragons, climbing really tall mountains, swimming to the bottom of the ocean, sorting mail, knitting scarves… Oh wait, I started daydreaming. Flying airplanes, finding gold close to the earth’s core…