The Dark Queen

She said she’d come when the butterflies flutter by, but spring came and went without a sighting. Then summer, then autumn. When winter rolled around I caught a glimpse of spotted wings and knew they were carried upon her breath.

I delved into my studies to find that indeed, the Dark Queen cannot reign from the shadows. She thrives on contrast; she commands symphonies of her minions on snow.

Now her spirit deepens my midwinter dreams. She lay upon my pillow, whispering sweet promises of death to my face. I awake to the bodiless wings of Monarchs in my window.

Zany, 100 words – #AtoZ Challenge

“You know,” I began. My brother doesn’t know anything, so it was a rhetorical statement. “If you cross a giraffe with an elephant, the result will just be a scaly grey giraffe. They have the same tail.”

“But it has to have a trunk!” he exclaimed.

“If you give it a trunk it will topple forward. I won’t be able to get from tree to tree in order to eat.”

“It doesn’t need to eat! It’s just a picture!!”

He had a point. I handed him my grey crayon and let him get on with it. But I couldn’t watch.

Author’s Notes:

1. I don’t suppose this character is “zany” as much as childish, but this is what I ended up with and I’m sticking to it.

2. I think I only ended up with one or two “adult content” posts. None were particularly naughty. Ah, well. It’s been fun doing this challenge with characters. Thanks for reading.

Contemptuous – #AtoZ Challenge (AC – language)

He approaches me as I walk in the door of my office building: “Excuse me, Sir?”

“Yes?” I say, but I’m thinking: Look at you and your sniveling grin. You’re going to ask me for a favour, aren’t you, you grimy little slice of dick-cheese pie. You flunkies are all the same.

“You parked outside in a no-parking zone.”

Get a fucking life. “Let me tell you, young neophyte, when I was your age I didn’t dare tell the owner of such a grand building as this where he could and couldn’t park.”

“But Sir, your car’s getting towed away.”

Author’s Notes:

1. I’ve known a few people in my lifetime who thought their money held them above others in every way. It’s fun to cut them and their contemptuous ways down to size, even if it’s just through fiction.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Boisterous – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge

My name is Desdemona and I’m a fan. God, I sound like I’m in an AA meeting or something. But the guys in the band are just so freaking cute!! I see a picture of them online – like, backstage or something? – and I just squeeee!!!! And OMG can you believe I actually got tickets to their concert? It’s not for another two months but I can’t wait! My mom keeps saying I’ll flip the roof over with my squeeing. She can’t possibly understand!

I gotta call Ashley. We have to find out where the band is staying when they’re here…

Authors notes:

1. When I think of a boisterous character, my mind goes directly to Chester, the animated dog who plays sidekick to the bulldog named Spike, on The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show. Thus, it’s a challenge for me to come up with a human version of “boisterous.”

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Apathetic – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge

She can hear the kids downstairs screaming at one another, the screams occasionally punctuated with slaps and cries of pain, but she’s right in the middle of the good part of her book. The hero is about to smite the evil warlord and…

“Mom!” comes the holler from the lower floor. “Jimmie’s pulling the dog’s tail again!”

“Yeah, I know. Just a minute.”

“What are you doing up there?”

“I’m folding your clothes!” she lies. …just as Anoweth raises his sword to cleave the despicable Dromig in two…

“Mom!”

“There’s cookies in the cupboard!”

“What? I said Jimmie’s…”

“SHUT UP!”

Author’s notes:

1. The apathetic character is a difficult one to maintain. Apathy goes against my own nature, so I rely on what I’ve observed in others, along with my own tendency to sometimes get distracted to the point where I may seem apathetic. In reality I’m simply getting stressed over the need to help, and the inability to remove myself from my current situation.

2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.

Monster Mash – an 100-word Story

I hate the way you eat your mashed potatoes. It sets my teeth on edge when I hear your teeth hit and then scrape the spoon as you pull it back out of your mouth. Who the hell eats mashed potatoes with a spoon? You have to put your fork down just to eat your fucking mashed potatoes. By God, one of these days I’m going to pick up your steak knife and end your life with it.

“Penny for your thoughts, Darling?”

“Oh, I was just thinking about… work.”

Yeah. How much work it would take to stab you.

Suspicious Coffee – an 100-word story

“What if,” I asked my husband as we sipped coffee from our china cups, “coffee contains some sort of secret ingredient that allows the government to read our thoughts.”

“What are you saying, Darling? That now coffee is part of your conspiracy theory? I honestly don’t know why I married you.”

“Now that you mention it, I was thinking the same thing. How could I have married someone who is so… insensitive to the possibility that everything is spying on us?”

“Everything is not… wait. Did you say you were thinking the same thing as I? Put down the cup.”

Bleak – an 100-word story

“Well then John, if she won’t have me, I’ll marry someone else!”

“You can’t just ‘marry someone else,’ old chap. The wedding is scheduled for tomorrow. You’ll have to call it off.”

“But I can’t do that. There are people coming from all over the world. I know, I’ll call Cupid.”

“Please don’t.”

“It’s too late. There he is at the window! Wait! Don’t aim it at me now!”

“Duck!”

“John? Please, will you marry me?”

“I should rather die!”

“But then, who will be my best man?”

“It won’t be me, old chap. I don’t swing that way.”

“Drat.”

Isn’t There a Cream For That? An 100-word Story

It started with an itch. Just a little, Ooh, what’s that? I think I’ll scratch it. So I did, as you do.

The next morning I woke up to find a big… I don’t even know what you’d call it. So I decided to go to the doctor. Ha! Funny, right?

The moment I got in the door, everyone was, Aah! Look at the hideous beast! and What the hell is wrong with him, coming in here?

I wanted to explain that I just needed my itch looked at, but they wouldn’t listen. It sucks being reincarnated as a snake.

How Misunderstood – 100 words

“Dino?”

“Yes Dad?”

“Where’s my trailer?”

“It’s at the bottom of the hill.”

“I thought I told you to put blocks under the wheels.”

“Yeah but…”

“I was going to go get the truck to hook it up.”

“I know, Dad, but…”

“You let my trailer go down the hill by itself. Now I’ve got to go down there and dig it out of the ditch.”

“Yeah, I know, but…

“What the hell were you thinking?!”

“Well it’s what you said!”

“What I said? What did I say?”

“You told me you wanted everything today to go down without a hitch!”