fiction

Poor Frozen Willy – 100 words

“Poor frozen Willy was a chilly little guy. He normally lives somewhere warm and humid, but one day he found himself out in the cold. It turns out his owner got drunk and…”

“Honey?”

“Yeah, Babe?”

“Why does every story you tell me before bed have to be about your penis?”

“Who said it’s about my penis? It’s actually about a penguin.”

“A penguin who lives somewhere warm?”

“Sure.”

“…”

“Okay. I’m just trying to get you in the mood.”

“Talking about your cold little penis is not going to do the trick.”

“Hmm… A poor but massive and overheated horse…”

Hell’s Kitchen

“Barnaby! You burnt my steak again!”

“But Sir… you won’t turn the grill down.”

Look!

Up in the sky!
It’s a bird!
It’s a … writer?
It’s Flying-by-the-seat-of-his-pants Man!

wtf?

“Wait.”

“Wait what?”

“That.”

“That what?”

“That!”

“That what? What are you talking about, man?”

“Can’t you taste that?”

“Taste… what? We’re walking down the street, we’re not even eating anything… what the fuck?”

“Calm down, man. I guess I had some pepper left over from dinner.”

“And why the fuck should I be able to taste it?”

“Well it was kinda strong.”

Amusing, a 50 word story

“I’m not here to amuse you,” she said as she unbuttoned her blouse.

He lay on the bed regarding her silently.

“Which side do you want?”

No answer.

“Okay, I’ll choose.”

When she reclined, he made his move.

“Stop licking my face, or I’ll replace you with a real man.”

 

I’m lovin’ it, a 50 word story

“You tryin’ to sell me somethin’ boy? ‘Coz if you are, I got somethin’ to tell you: I ain’t buyin’. M’kay? I just ain’t buyin’ yo crap. I’mma tell you somethin’ else – I ain’t listenin’ to yo crap!”

“Errr… I just wanted to know if you’d like fries with that.”

262. (268MAY16WEDS)Scenes from the Second Seat on the Right

Wednesday, May 20th, 5:00pm
Drew (and Zoey)

 

Drew sits at the window. Zoey takes the seat beside him.

Drew: There is a bird in a tree.

Zoey: I’m sorry?

Drew: There is a bird in a tree… or is the tree simply there for the bird?

Zoey: I think the bird…

Drew: (holds up a finger) You are going to say that because the bird moves and the tree does not that the bird is the one who must be the subject, the one who provides the action, and the tree is merely awaiting the bird’s arrival. BUT! Does not the tree live longer?

Zoey: (nods slowly) It does…

Drew: So again, I ask, is the bird in the tree or does the tree exist for the bird?

Zoey: …Both?

Drew: (frowns) I must contemplate this further.

Zoey: You’re welcome.

 

Next stop: Thursday, May 21st, 6:00pm

Author’s note: These Scenes are written independently, occasionally featuring the same character from a former scene. Please click on the names in the tags to follow a character’s story. (Zoey)

SoCS – Memory

A picture,
the scent on the clothes you left behind,
and a memory
is all I have left.

She places the photograph on the table beside the mirror in her bedroom and stands back to look at it. The frame is guilt and the image is one of profound regret. A ball forms in her chest, a balloon of grief waiting to burst.

But the time is not right. She can’t let it go. Not yet. There are many things to do; arrangements to be made, people to see, hands to shake, and mouths to feed. Explanations to be invented.

And then there was the private eye to take care of. He knows everything.

Her political aspirations can afford no compromise.

badge by Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

badge by Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

This post is part of SoCS! Join in now! http://lindaghill.com/2014/10/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-november-114/

SoCS – Taste of Time

Left to my own devices
I slather my time
in colours of fruit:
cerise and orange, blueberry and golden delicious
on the walls
of my imagination
and then
I close my eyes
and taste what I have written.

This post is part of SoCS: http://lindaghill.wordpress.com/2014/08/15/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-1614/

socs-badge

Fit to be Tied

How should I lace you up? Should I tie your feet as well as your hands? I should probably strip you first. It will make it easier.

What is that? I can’t understand you with that gag in your mouth. Why are you moaning? We agreed to this.
Am I hurting you?

Fine, I’ll loosen the gag. Is that better?

Excellent.

First I’ll slip off your tie. Mmmm, silk. I love this tie. Now give me your hands and lean forward so I can tie your hands behind your back. What, you want them at the front. I… don’t think so. And lift your ass so I can pull down your… oh yes, you’re into this, aren’t you?

Stop struggling or I’ll truss you up like a pig. You don’t like that idea? No, I didn’t think you would.

First your hands. There we go. And then your feet. So nice of you to take off your shoes and socks at the door. Ah, yes, that’s right. You were expecting sex, weren’t you?

So glad we agreed that if I caught you cheating again I could do whatever I want to you.

Your lovers? I think I might have tripped one of them up on her way out the door. There were three of them after all, waiting here in my bed for you to get home from work, weren’t there? Apparently none of you were aware that I was home sick but still doing your laundry in the basement.

So where shall I begin?

Did you get the garden sheers back from being sharpened like I asked you to? I was getting blisters from trying to cut the hedges with dull blades. You did? No? I think you’re just saying that.

Never mind.  I just emptied the water out of the high-powered Shop Vac I bought you for Christmas last year. It took me only three hours to empty the basement after the flood last night while you were out with the boys. I tell you man, that thing sucks so hard you could use it to pull the dandelions out of the ground, roots and all. What, not the sucking you were looking for this afternoon?

For God sake stop trying to scream. We agreed to this, remember?

What’s that you’re saying? You’re sorry? You certainly look sorry.

Just a minute, there’s someone at the door.
….
….
….
Good news. It’s your mother!

Originally posted in 2013 on The Community Storyboard.