On my word, I have never seen anything like it in all my eighty years! Walking up the street as if it owned it, all my-shit-doesn’t-stink, nose-in-the-air swagger. And it was on a leash too! Dangling out of the trousers it was barely wearing ’round its ankles. Kids these days!
writing
Boisterous – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge
My name is Desdemona and I’m a fan. God, I sound like I’m in an AA meeting or something. But the guys in the band are just so freaking cute!! I see a picture of them online – like, backstage or something? – and I just squeeee!!!! And OMG can you believe I actually got tickets to their concert? It’s not for another two months but I can’t wait! My mom keeps saying I’ll flip the roof over with my squeeing. She can’t possibly understand!
I gotta call Ashley. We have to find out where the band is staying when they’re here…
Authors notes:
1. When I think of a boisterous character, my mind goes directly to Chester, the animated dog who plays sidekick to the bulldog named Spike, on The Bugs Bunny and Tweety Show. Thus, it’s a challenge for me to come up with a human version of “boisterous.”
2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.
Apathetic – #A-Z April Blogging Challenge
She can hear the kids downstairs screaming at one another, the screams occasionally punctuated with slaps and cries of pain, but she’s right in the middle of the good part of her book. The hero is about to smite the evil warlord and…
“Mom!” comes the holler from the lower floor. “Jimmie’s pulling the dog’s tail again!”
“Yeah, I know. Just a minute.”
“What are you doing up there?”
“I’m folding your clothes!” she lies. …just as Anoweth raises his sword to cleave the despicable Dromig in two…
“Mom!”
“There’s cookies in the cupboard!”
“What? I said Jimmie’s…”
“SHUT UP!”
Author’s notes:
1. The apathetic character is a difficult one to maintain. Apathy goes against my own nature, so I rely on what I’ve observed in others, along with my own tendency to sometimes get distracted to the point where I may seem apathetic. In reality I’m simply getting stressed over the need to help, and the inability to remove myself from my current situation.
2. I have no plans to write Adult Content fiction pieces for this challenge, but it happens, and it’s sometimes beyond my control if I’m to remain authentic to my muse. I will place a warning in the title of those posts which fall under the AC category.
poem – a poem
it’s the poem of all poems
the penultimate penned piece
where the damsel withers
within her lonely turret
while the prince races hither
to smite the beast
and finally to claim his bride
as he breaks her fall
only his legs are crushed
because the silly woman squeezed
her gigantic posterior through the window
thinking her romeo had burn’t crispy
from the dragon’s horrid and hot halitosis…
it’s the poem of all poems
and this is not it.
Breaking Up – a 50-word … thing
Dear You,
I’m sorry we broke up. The sad fact is, you are who you must be and I am who I have to be, and it seems there is no compromise. A serial killer and a saint are just not suited for marriage. I should have known.
Love,
Me
Me Movie – a 50-word story
I think there should be a movie of me. It would show my awesome life: sailing around the world, fighting dragons, climbing really tall mountains, swimming to the bottom of the ocean, sorting mail, knitting scarves… Oh wait, I started daydreaming. Flying airplanes, finding gold close to the earth’s core…
The Chronicles of Mary, Part 1 – a 50-word story
One day, a strange man dressed in a business suit approached Mary, and asked her if he could call her “Ivy.”
“That’s not my name,” she said.
“Please?” he begged.
“Whatever.”
“Ivy,” he said. Then he ran away, pointing, and yelling, “Poison Ivy!”
That was Mary’s oddest day to date.
Monster Mash – an 100-word Story
I hate the way you eat your mashed potatoes. It sets my teeth on edge when I hear your teeth hit and then scrape the spoon as you pull it back out of your mouth. Who the hell eats mashed potatoes with a spoon? You have to put your fork down just to eat your fucking mashed potatoes. By God, one of these days I’m going to pick up your steak knife and end your life with it.
“Penny for your thoughts, Darling?”
“Oh, I was just thinking about… work.”
Yeah. How much work it would take to stab you.
The News – a 50-word story
“It is not just black and white. There are bluish green areas over there, and if you look closely enough, you’ll see the occasional splotch of yellow. But the truth is, it is red all over.”
“Sir?”
“Yes, Todd?”
“What is it?”
“It’s a joke, Todd. Don’t you get it?”
dalv – 50 words
I’m not a nocturnal wanderer. I love to sleep at night. I work hard while the sun shines – I get up as it rises, so that I may be ready to labour when the day begins.
The moment it sets, I go to my rest. I’m a vampire of light.
Linda G. Hill 